The psychologist will tell what to do if you despaired to find the partner for a relationship.
“I am 31 years old, and I was infinitely tired of search of the man. To one to me it is good, I earn, I have many friends and the beautiful apartment. Just I do not want to be one, I want the husband, children, family.
I go out on dates of times a week at least. I am registered on all dating sites; I flirt in cafe with strangers and even got a job in construction company to be closer to a strong half of mankind. But result at all my efforts – disappointment. I was tired of search of the man; I can’t take it anymore!”
Already at an acquaintance stage many men and women feel discomfort, without speaking about the beginning of a relationship. People for years sit on dating sites, accumulating stories from unsuccessful appointments which are amusing for telling among the friends, but to worry bitterly again and again. The image of the city madwoman with 30 cats begins to dream women approximately from 25 years, even by these small years some despair of search of the man.
The loneliness during certain time has the advantages. Many people endure the largest growth and consciousness in years when they are not in a relationship. Yes, in words it is much simpler to receive benefit from loneliness, than to make it in real life. For a start it is necessary to perform necessary internal work. At the same time most of people do not set before themselves the purpose to be lonely forever. Most of us want love and the partner with whom it is possible to divide life, but we mistakenly try to reach what we so want, all wrong ways. We continue to live also and we hope that it somehow will result in other results. We know that in it there is no sense, and nevertheless we continue to act according to our taken roots settings by default.
To be lonely is not a damnation, but a relationship – not a panacea.
Irrespective of at what stage of life you are, it is important to carry out personal inventory – to look at habits and the choice which help you, and on those which hurt you. It is not to agree to appointments with the first comers and to create questionnaires on all dating sites or in applications. To find really tremendous, healthy relationship, it is much more important to be ready to such relationship. It is about identification of wrong templates and thought processes which can prevent you to receive the desirable.
Healing power of self-partnership
Independent partnership means the aspiration to respect the requirements, to heal the wounds and to work on self-development and self-updating. This daily work on itself brings huge benefit to all people irrespective of, there are they at this moment in a romantic relationship or not. Care for yourself. It is the most basic strategy, but sometimes it also is the most difficult.
Do you get enough sleep? Do you regularly play sports? Do you eat food from which it is good not only to you, but also an organism? Do you slow down or have a rest when it is necessary?
Many people think that to consider the requirements selfishly. But it will bring benefit not only to you, but also people around. When we are in a condition of a constant stress and exhaustion, it is difficult for us to care for others and to communicate with them. If you constantly are in search of the man or on it the last several years probably left that you devoted all this time not to yourself, and search of a relationship.
Stop to need a relationship!
There is no faster way to push away the man, than to need it. To wish the man – not the same as to need. Requirement is a condition of mind at which you feel defective or you test emotional emptiness and you try to fill this empty space with a relationship or men’s recognition.
Many women confuse the relation of men to need with the estimated relation of men to obligations. But men are not afraid of obligations (at least, the majority). The man with pleasure will enter a relationship with the woman who sees and appreciates him it what it is. To the contrary, the man will escape far away from the woman who sees in him a possibility of emotional pleasure or wants to fill emptiness.
The man wants to feel like the electee the woman. He does not want to feel as if it just fills the place which could get easily to any other man with pulse.
Requirement usually arises due to the lack of self-respect or self-respect. You feel that something is missing in you or in your life, and mistakenly believe that a relationship will become medicine. If you were unhappy to a relationship, you will be unfortunate also in them. Instead of feeling sorry for itself because of loneliness, work over the relationship with yourself. Try to feel more better and to look more best. The code you really to it will come, the problem will be dissolved in itself.